I was a senior in college, sitting cross-legged on the floor in my tiny apartment surrounded by open text books, the epitome of a college student drowning in “to do’s.”
The phone rang. This was back in the day when I had to hoist myself off the floor and stumble through the books to make my way to the corded phone on the wall in the kitchen. It was my father calling. I am sure he wanted to talk about college bills or car stuff, but I started to complain, “I am so overwhelmed with all I have to do. I am trying to finish a paper and I can’t even get started, and I have 3 more due this week!”
My dad is a man of few words so I expected a brief reply resembling a grunt. What he said changed my life: “If you don’t want to do it, don’t.”
Whhhaaaaattttt?!?
This man expected excellence and he was notoriously frugal. If I was to succeed at this expensive private school, he expected me to study hard every day. This man was a hard worker; a farmer for most of his life. He picked rock, drove tractor through endless fields, and came home filthy most days after diving beneath massive equipment to find the problem. At the time, I couldn’t imagine how he could only do things when he wanted to do them.
That day in my busy senior year, I listened to my dad. I put my work aside, grabbed my running shoes, and I ran about three miles…and in that 3 miles, I wrote the structure of my senior communications project and I finished the core of the paper I was writing for that computer class I loathed. When I returned from my run, I wasn’t overwhelmed; I was focused. I got busy. It literally took me thirty minutes to finish the communications project paper.
Ever since then, my dad’s words have directed my life, “If you don’t want to do it, don’t.”
And I know it’s even greater than just running or college papers. Because of my dad’s words, I make a purposeful effort to recommit to my job, my marriage, my kids, and my life regularly. And I will always do the hardest things because I want to, not because I have to….because I can move mountains with that motivation.
Amazingly, my dad is a Vietnam vet with a purple heart and has won awards for his volunteer and community work. The pride in my bucket runneth over. His life-changing lesson (although I wish it had come freshman year) reminds me who I am, where I am from, and who I want to be in life. Thanks, Pop.
Dad’s have amazing influence on us. In the spirit of Father’s Day, I would love to hear about your dad’s influence on you and others. Gush – I just did:)
Inspiring New Leaders 