How to Know if You’re on the Right Path to Finding Your True Passion…

Think back to when you were 10 years old.  What did you like to do with your time? 

If you were like me, you were an avid writer.  You spent evenings in your room writing poetry, songs, short stories, and awful, risqué essays that were meant to be read by no one.  No walls in the room were exposed;  all covered by inspirational quotes or poems written in grade school with teacher’s praises in red pen.

At the age of 10, I didn’t want to be a writer.  I was studying and planning for a career as a psychologist.  I wrote about people and relationships.  I wrote poems about perspective and emotion.

The lights are off,
the shades aren’t drawn.
You can’t see in,
but I can see out.
(A 10 year old’s poem about the ability to control emotion)

For my career, I helped people. I dedicated my life to helping children, their families, adults with mental health issues, staff in organizations working to help people, and now helping leaders become more effective at empowering others.

I wrote social histories, treatment plans, diagnostic materials, and redesigned organizational service delivery models. I designed websites to offer leaders easy access to tools and information supporting my coaching efforts.

At a low point in my career, I realized that my work – although important still – required less writing. I felt broken. It took a year for me to realize that in order for me to be fulfilled, I need to write.

And today when I am writing, I am energized and passionate. I find myself more excited and nervous posting blogs or writing articles than when I am presenting to a room of 100 people.

And a few weeks ago, I heard a dear friend talk about the dreams she had as a 10 year old and that she believes that magic time in our lives may continue directing us to our place of passion throughout our lives- the place where we give our best to the world around us. I think she’s right.

Consider your passion and interests when you were 10 years old.  What did you love to do back then? How do you see those interests playing out in your adult life? Is there a connection?

If You Don’t Want To Do It, Don’t (Dad Says)

I was a senior in college, sitting cross-legged on the floor in my tiny apartment surrounded by open text books, the epitome of a college student drowning in “to do’s.” 

The phone rang.   This was back in the day when I had to hoist myself off the floor and stumble through the books to make my way to the corded phone on the wall in the kitchen. It was my father calling.  I am sure he wanted to talk about college bills or car stuff,  but I started to complain,  “I am so overwhelmed with all I have to do.  I am trying to finish a paper and I can’t even get started, and I have 3 more due this week!”

My dad is a man of few words so I expected a brief reply resembling a grunt.  What he said changed my life: “If you don’t want to do it,  don’t.”

Whhhaaaaattttt?!?

This man expected excellence and he was notoriously frugal. If I was to succeed at this expensive private school,  he expected me to study hard every day.  This man was a hard worker; a farmer for most of his life.  He picked rock, drove tractor through endless fields, and came home filthy most days after diving beneath massive equipment to find the problem.  At the time,  I couldn’t imagine how he could only do things when he wanted to do them.

That day in my busy senior year,  I listened to my dad.  I put my work aside,  grabbed my running shoes,  and I ran about three miles…and in that 3 miles,  I wrote the structure of my senior communications project and I finished the core of the paper I was writing for that computer class I loathed.   When I returned from my run, I wasn’t overwhelmed; I was focused.  I got busy. It literally took me thirty minutes to finish the communications project paper.

Ever since then,  my dad’s words have directed my life, “If you don’t want to do it,  don’t.” 

And I know it’s even greater than just running or college papers.   Because of my dad’s words,  I make a purposeful effort to recommit to my job,  my marriage, my kids, and my life regularly.  And I will always do the hardest things because I want to,  not because I have to….because I can move mountains  with that motivation.

Amazingly,  my dad is a Vietnam vet with a purple heart and has won awards for his volunteer and community work.  The pride in my bucket runneth over.  His life-changing lesson (although I wish it had come freshman year) reminds me who I am,  where I am from,  and who I want to be in life.   Thanks,  Pop.

Dad’s have amazing influence on us.  In the spirit of Father’s Day,  I would love to hear about your dad’s influence on you and others. Gush – I just did:)

The Career Quadrant

I’m not a millennial.  I’m one of the GenXers…but more on the cusp of GenY by personality.  My world is different.  I have about 10-15 years of experience in my world of work today, and I’m faced with opportunities.  I am told jobs for people like me are prevalent and will continue to become increasingly available as the Baby Boomers retire.

My career hasn’t prepared me for this.  I survived the recession.  I lived through times when I was told “just be happy you have a job” and “other areas are laying off people left and right.”  Those words became a mantra for me and my team as we reminded each other “it’s not as bad as the place that is laying off half of their staff.”  The regular career ladder wasn’t available during my time.  We created our own jungle gym of experience to keep us challenged, taking jobs when available but more often working beyond our responsibilities.  For 10 years, we didn’t (we couldn’t) move to another job.  

We were isolated from new ideas. Training budgets were cut. For many years, I was the youngest on my unit by about 10 years. Ideas were stagnant with no pressure from new staff to update practices.

Now, we are confused.  We have so many opportunities, more than our parents, our friends, our leaders, our mentors…more than we are prepared to handle.  We have opportunities to take over management and leadership roles as our mentors begin their retirement and end our mentorship.

All while the crush of technology changes is suffocating our survival skills.  Let’s face it:  who can compete against someone who grew up with ipads in their elementary?  We had desktop computers and Oregon Trail on DOS systems….they didn’t move, folks.  They didn’t move.

To help us all focus (and give us a touch of sanity), I designed a focused discussion to help people identify their interests and goals during the madness.  It doesn’t help people update their technology skills (haha!), but it does give them focus.

 It’s best accomplished in 20 minutes (quick thinking) in an interview format.  We know the best ideas and those that are closest to our heart are spoken out loud first.

Here’s how it works:

Split a piece of paper in half, then in quadrants.  Number the Quadrants from left to right.  Then, fill in the following:

Step 1: Think back on your past…going back to your very first job, volunteer opportunity, and what you do when you relax at home…What do you like to do? What brings you passion, energy, and motivation to get out of bed in the morning?

List Interests (at least 10):

Step 2:  What don’t you like about your jobs?  What is challenging to you?  What would you like to avoid?

List Challenges (at least 10):

Step 3:  If you were to wave a magic wand and in 3-5 years you would be working your dream job, what would you be doing?

List Dream Job or list of work responsibilities here:

Step 4:  What do you need to DO to get there?  What do  you have control over?  What do you have influence over?  How can you make progress toward your goals?

List To Do’s here:

Look back at the quadrant.  What just happened?  Either you answered the last question with complete confidence (and a feeling of embarrassment) or you stumbled through it, wondering what step #3 is supposed to be for you.

#3 helps you realize your potential and for people like us that literally does mean “the sky is the limit.”  Dreamers, pragmatists, and in between have walked away with a renewed focus on themselves after this conversation.

Test it out.  And please let me know about your experience.

I keep writing these crazy blogs because you tell me they’re useful (and it’s nice to get this stuff out of my head! 🙂  What do you think?